Wow, it's been four months!

I had some comments from different friends after my last post who felt sad for me because of what I wrote. It's strange because I didn't feel sad for myself at all. Experiencing anything, new or old, has its ups and downs. I felt kind of “in the middle” about everything. Honestly, I don't mean to be such a downer.

I also got a special request from Jennifer to be featured in my next blog, so here it goes:

Oh, Jennifer—kind Jennifer, let me tell the World—

That I met you for the first time at Seoul Station!—

But your blond hair and quiet-shy demeanor—

Made me think you were so Innocent!—Until—

At Nooriebaang you partied—as hard as us All—

And sang along to every song! Jennifer—

What a mysterious person you are!

This weekend I went to nooriebaang twice. Once as a spur of the moment thing, then on Saturday night we celebrated Mike and Melinda's going-away party. We went to dinner (it was pouring rain outside and my pants and shoes were completely soaked and cold all night!), then bowling, then nooriebaang. We stayed out until 4:30 AM. That night Jenny, who had taken Mike's cat, expressed her concerns in taking care of her (she has family in Korea and spends many weekends away from her apartment). I volunteered to take her and so at 5 AM I took a scared Bella to my apartment. I stayed up with her until 6:30AM to try to get her to feel comfortable. She's not spayed, so I also brought home an irritated cat in heat! But she's so sweet (though she sometimes scratches). I am very happy to have her company.

Mike and Melinda are leaving. This sucks! Melinda says she is probably coming back to Seoul. Mike tortures us all by changing his mind every two seconds and sometimes saying that maybe he'll come back, but I have a feeling he won't. And they're both really busy, so I really just see them at work. I hate that I am so sentimental about it, but part of it is just selfish on my part. I am going to be really lonely without them.

I am now battling within myself about what to do at work. I think the answer is nothing. I am not choosing this just to be complacent. I am deciding to stick it out at this particular school as long as is possible despite its bad sense of priorities because I have made it 1/3 of the way already and it will make more money to stay (free return airfare, bonus, etc). But it is hard to tolerate all these changes. There are new B.S. protocols to add “structure,” because 2 of the teachers can't get their stuff together. It means a lot of dumb mini-meetings where everything changes every two seconds. It seems like the things they really should organize will never get done, while they overdo the little things.

Should I move to a new job, or stick it out a year? Should I stay with my current school two years so that I can have a secure place to live while I take a free trip home to visit family? I've heard that Grace sometimes allows a two week long vacation if you re-sign (though Dennis is the only one who ever has so I don't know). It'd be great to stay at a big school with many other foreign teachers. But I don't know how long I can allow my daily routine to be interrupted by tedious energy-wasting nonsense.

Who knows, maybe two weeks from now I'll be back to saying how much I enjoy the school. Please don't think of me as fickle. It is just part of the process.

I was really irritated today at work and thought I might aspire to be apathetic, but it didn't last long. Danny pulled me aside today and said that my boss and the Korean employees had a general meeting, and I came up somehow and that everyone had something good to say about me. He basically said that everyone saw me as compassionate. I don't know if what he said was true or not, but actually it helped me. I am going to try to tune out the office BS and try to refocus on the students.